After a successful meeting about CGN's 5 year plan and the development of the Melena Project, CGN members Scoop and Fridge were taken aback by the disturbing events that unfolded later on that evening.

Fridge had this to say: "It started off innocent enough; it was late and although it had been a long day, it had been a productive one also. The others had gone home and kwhopper invited us - both me and Scoop - inside for a coffee. Y'know, just to wind down and recap on the day. I never though it'd take the path that it did. I mean, it was just supposed to be coffee."

"JUST COFFEE!"

"I mean... I'm sorry about yelling... ya know... but every time I think about it now... I just... I just can't believe he'd do that. I just can't.".

Fridge started to break down after that, staring at nothing, dazed. Gently rocking on the spot: "It was just mean't to be coffee. It was just mean't to be coffee. It was just mean't to be coffee..."

Scoop, how did you take the news: "Ya, well, my weirdo-shitto-meter was definitely bouncing on the limiter. O.K. Look. Hand on heart. He's always been a bit special. But this just had me gobsmacked. He was doing the good host thing and had just made us all a coffee and we were chatting. Maybe he was feeling a bit more relaxed at the time, maybe he thought... hell, who am I kidding - I don't know what he was thinking. I don't. But he leaned over and said: I found were the wife is hiding the Tim Tam's."

And so what's the issue with that, 1000's of Australian's have Tim Tam's everyday. I even have a Tim Tam Slam every now and again. "Yeah, see, I'm getting to that - The issue wasn't with the Tim Tam's, nor the subsequent slamming of the biscuit. It was the post slam commentary were he described it as"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" Fridge exasperated. "Don't say it Scoop - for the love of all things CGN, don't say it."

Go on Scoop, ignore that little squeezer, tell us what he said "Look. 3 guys. It's late at night. We're alone in another man's kitchen, whispering so his wife doesn't wake up. Sipping coffee. Just had a mouthful of warm, gooey chocolate and caramel and this salad fork comes out and says - It's like an ORGASM IN THE MOUTH isn't it - He's nodding his head looking for approval, he's got this big cheesy grin akin to a split watermelon reaching around from ear to ear and something suspect dribbling from his lip. Needless to say - the chatter stopped"

He could have been talking about cunnilingus - he just may be a considerate lover - did you homophobes think about that. "Look, unless his wife can squirt a mouthful of hot spooge down the back of his throat rather than just the usual mess around the mo then no - he wasn't talking about taco soup."

Well, there you have it kwhopper is not a heterosexual as most originally thought. He's not even homosexual. Turns out he's cacaosexual and it's no wonder his wife hides the Tim Tam's.